Real talk ...

Please read...sorry it is long

Sitting here at 3 a.m. and my timeline isn't refreshing much but unfortunately my anxiety and mania are not allowing me to stop checking for any form of stimulus...I see multiple posts from myself in a row and I am dissapointed...in myself and my inability to stop my current anger (part of the depression state of my bipolar) from what I really need to do as a nurse on the internet. I am here to help people 24/7 365...from work to random questions on the internet on my own time from people which I don't mind. During the pandemic I am here to help with facts and information... guiding the public to help keep them and myself safe. However...I am at the point of my Covid burn out...no I have not seen many actual patients but that doesn't mean my mental state is safe from the burn out. Having bipolar, anxiety, and ADHD colliding with exhaustion, pandemic depression, and now seasonal depression, I can see I am running on nothing but fumes of sanity...and that causes me to become defensive and throw around inappropriately directed passion...I don't mean to seem rude or send hate...I am just a person too and I lose it at times... however my point is I have a duty to guide with knowledge, but I also am supposed to help uplift people, encourage them, and bring a little light to a difficult time...I don't see that in my posts. I am SORRY

!! I possibly fuled others to have the same burn out I am having. I will stop getting on my soap box every 5 minutes, limit my aggressive posts for more positive messages to help bring us some joy in a dark time, become a meme queen if you will. I want us to be ok and I need to do better and I will. Stay safe my friends and remember love is better than hate.

With love,

A tired nurse 💙